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I am eight years old.

My lips are perfectly pink. They don't need to look glossy or tinted redder. My cheeks don't need this, either. My eyes stand out well enough on their own without being lined with black paint. The mascara weighs on my lashes and makes me tired and itchy. This shit on my eyelids shouldn't be there, either.

That was a bad word. I am afraid to say bad words, but I've got a few in my head. My friend told me that the word "bitch" means "female dog," but I think she's wrong. I don't think I've ever heard it used in this context. Actually, I think it's a word for people like you. I say this to you with my eyes.  You threaten me because you hear me loud and clear.

Every other weekend, I have to sit here and endure as you put this shit on my face. But that's not why you're a bitch. That's why you're an idiot. What makes you a bitch is the fact that you expect me to be silent and still every time your hand slips and the curling iron burns the top of my ear, or you make a mistake and have to pull a fine comb through my hair that you've already soaked in hairspray, or you accidentally pinch my eyelid with the eyelash curler.

But most of all, it's when you tell me that it's all my mom's fault that you have to do this. Because my mom thinks it's okay that I don't learn about this stuff right now. My mom thinks I'm perfect the way I am. Yes, I suppose it is my mom's fault that I am the way I am, because my mom knows I'm eight years old, you dumb bitch.

I don't tell you this. I am silent and still, letting you turn me into this walking parade float in a fat, itchy dress, socks with lace that gives me rashes, and panty hose that rides up my crotch. Yes, and then once I look "halfway decent," as you call it, we go somewhere, like church, where I am a fucking freak. You've successfully made it impossible for me to make any friends.

Did you ever stop to notice that the other children aren't wearing mascara? Yet you treat them better than me. I think it's because they're actually happy, and you know it. You didn't do this to your own children. Sure, they paint themselves up like this now. But I've seen the sun-stained pictures. No whores there. Just smiling, freckle-faced children in T-shirts and shorts. They look halfway decent to me. Didn't they look that way to you?

Oh that's right. It's different with me. You have to rescue me, don't you? Because no one else will. Because you're a good mother. You've popped out three children, while my mother only has me. Well that makes you a goddamn fucking expert, doesn't it? You tell me all about it. Every other weekend. You know how to raise children. You'll show her, won't you?

I've got news for you. It takes my mom hours to undo what you've done to me every time I get home. This Sunday, she'll wash this shit off my face and untangle my hair. But she won't undo your lessons. Every time someone hurts me, I'll be silent and still and nobody will know my pain. I'll learn to be strong. Thanks to you, I'll even learn such poise and composure that I could shed a tear right in front of someone's eyes and they'll never notice.

But you know what? You'll never convince me that you're a good mother - a better mother. I am eight years old. I'm not your doll. And you're a pathetic piece of shit.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm eight years old. I used to constantly fantasize about what I'd go back and say. I'm trying to get over it.

Edit:

I just happened to be on the site when the DD happened... I just ran around the house going, "Oh my god, oh my god!" over and over. Although I have had a DD before (for a suggestion), I never thought that I would ever, ever be recognized for my writing or art on this site for any reason, because every day I am just so overwhelmed by the other, greater talent I am surrounded by. So, thank you very much, I can't even tell you how happy this made me.


About the cursing:

I thought curse words (in my head) when I was little, but I was always afraid to say them. But, the reason I have cursing in the writing is because I am not really writing this from the perspective of an eight year old. I wrote it from the perspective of a twenty-something year old that sometimes still feels like she's eight years old.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-22
I am eight years old. by ~etherealism is a "stark, powerful recounting" (suggester's words). ( Suggested by LadyofGaerdon and Featured by neurotype )
:icontheholybagel:
TheHolyBagel Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
I was writing a journal and when it showed examples it showed this. It looked so good so I tried to click on it but it wouldn't take me to the link. I quit my journal to read this and it was truly worth it. :3 



I think it's an awesome piece and you should keep up the good work.

(No I am not 8 but it's hard to tell with a username like TheHolyBagel xD)
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I haven't been writing enough lately, but I should get back into it. =)
Reply
:icontheholybagel:
TheHolyBagel Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2016  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
:3 No problem 
Reply
:iconpinopip3-lel:
Pinopip3-LEL Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Im confused, who is the mothers here...
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
This was written about my stepmother, who used to talk shit about my actual mother.
Reply
:iconpinopip3-lel:
Pinopip3-LEL Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you for explaining, it makes sense now. The emotions and feelings are strong in it, good job
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much. ;)
Reply
:iconpinopip3-lel:
Pinopip3-LEL Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ene (Smile) [V7] 
Reply
:iconeyeigneous:
eyeigneous Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Bad words are a misconception of verbal freedom.
Reply
:iconeyeigneous:
eyeigneous Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh and I'm eleven.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Please explain "Bad words are a misconception of verbal freedom."
Reply
:iconeyeigneous:
eyeigneous Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Bad words, of course are used to make yourself feel free. Verbally. To me, it's a misconception because we are able to use words of our opinions, the conception of freedom, verbal freedom. Bad words aren't the way to make yourself feel free, making it a misconception. Sorry if you don't understand.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
What is the way to make yourself feel free? Also how does one dictate how all people make themselves feel free? Additionally, what does "feeling free" have to do with anything?
Reply
:iconjoy97:
joy97 Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015
Your writting is expessing both the eight year old and you when you wrote it.
It's perfect and many people have to understant what happened toyou and what a true mother is.

Childhood is the period of life that we are (supposed to be) free of prejudice and expectations of beauty.
Because we are beautiful when we are happy. 

Your mother was great for telling you that you are beautiful the way you are. (It's usually the only person that says that) (not in my case thought).
Thank you for sharing your story :)
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for understanding! =3
Reply
:iconiloveyousandwich:
iloveyousandwich Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
wow I love this so much. I'm 12 and in grade six and a lot of girls wear makeup to school, so I asked one of them why they do it and she said her mum was making her because she had two sons and she was the only daughter and she had no choice.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
That's messed up dude. =/
Reply
:iconnewroleplayer:
Newroleplayer Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2015
Wow. Fuck, did this actually happen to you?
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Yes it did.
Reply
:iconnewroleplayer:
Newroleplayer Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2015
I will. 
Reply
:iconjanezanecolenicole:
JaneZaneColeNicole Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Dayuum! (Sorry for the language ;))
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
No need to fuckin' apologize. :D
Reply
:iconjanezanecolenicole:
JaneZaneColeNicole Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
XD
Reply
:iconviol-dove-teshire:
Viol-Dove-Teshire Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Student Writer
This is breathtaking.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconmeggthomas:
MeggThomas Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, this piece really resonates. It reaches through the screen into the heart and the brain.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for saying so. :hug:
Reply
:iconmeggthomas:
MeggThomas Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your very welcome 😉
Reply
:iconvanillaswimmer:
VanillaSwimmer Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I've always admired this for its emotion and how very true it is. :)
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:D
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, that was amazing! a true work of literature right here! ^^
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. <3 I read your DD the other day. Congrats!
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :hug:
 ahh i thought i recognized that screen name :D thanks! <3 I just happened to be scrolling through dA and i saw your prose and the name intrigued me so i read it ^-^
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Well thanks for stopping by. :D I also had a look at your traditional art, too, the other day. It was good! =D
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure thing :D and thanks! :hug: :) have a llama badge ^^
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You too! :llama:
Reply
:icononeverylostsoul:
OneVeryLostSoul Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well written words of truth to all the idiots who act this way. May they recognize the error of their ways while they read it.
Reply
:icontwerpthederp:
Twerpthederp Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This. Is. Great. No words! (except for the ones I'm typing, im a reble to my own irony.)
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, thank you! :D
Reply
:icontwerpthederp:
Twerpthederp Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
Reply
:iconbloodtheshinyabsol:
BloodTheShinyAbsol Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
Wow.
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
:wow:
Reply
:iconbloodtheshinyabsol:
BloodTheShinyAbsol Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014
XD
Reply
:iconirishgirl217:
irishgirl217 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014
this is so powerful
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
So is a tiny little comment like that, believe it or not. Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconirishgirl217:
irishgirl217 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
aw, no problem! 
Reply
:icondangerousomega:
DangerousOmega Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It truly left me speechless.I love how you wrote it!
Reply
:iconstacykendra:
StacyKendra Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much. :hug:
Reply
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